Oct 19, 2009

Beware - Highway warnings.

On my recent drive back from Chennai to Bangalore, noticed a few of the warning signs posted by NHAI along NH 46.
Here is a list of the few I can recollect-
1. Accidents do not happen, they are caused
( Whatever happened to the age old saying - Accidents are just waiting to happen?)
2. If you drive, do not drink; if you drink, do not drive
(If you can read this alliteration in the time you take to zoom past it, you probably don't need the warning anyway)
3. If you drive like hell, you will reach there faster
(I wanna go to heaven, should I just walk?)
4. Minor drivers.... major accidents
(Major drivers.... disasters?)

Sep 7, 2009

Movie Review - Kal Kissne Dekha.

I know.. I know... the first reaction that I am gonna get is.. "WHAT? You saw this movie and are brave enough to even write a review of it?" Yes, I did see this piece of s*** movie and I am going to write a few words on it. It is left upto you to decide whether you want to read it or not.

The movie in short:-
It is the story of Nihaal from Chandigarh, who comes to Mumbai to study in a college. He can see the future owing to some superhuman capability of his. He uses this skill to befriend his seniors, acquire a girlfriend (in true bollywood style), get a bank robber arrested and a terrorist ring busted. A few songs, absolutely irrelevant item numbers, some fight sequences, a trying-to-be-funny-but-always-crying mother, horrible direction and acting which can be called better than only a statue's, and you have real masala movie here.

The movie in detail:-
About the hero - He can sing, dance, fight, is a scientist, an inventor, converts a video game joystick into a signal jammer, talks about reverse current blocking forward current and hence completing a circuit, jumps a car from a hotel onto a boat so far out in the sea that you need binoculars to see it and so on and so forth.

Hilarious scene #1-
Mr super fighter can kick a football at his seniors, without the ball ever touching the ground. He takes down 6 of them one-by-one with the ball always bouncing back to him.

Hilarious scene #2-
Our local Nostradamus is in a shopping mall. Juhi Chawla is the host of some game show being conducted there (why does she keep doing these hideous movies nowadays?) She walks about on the stage, but nothing happens. When our hero's sweetheart gets onto stage and starts lambasting him, he suddenly screams out - BOMB. Using the power vested in him by the supreme maker, he is able to sniff out the presence of a bomb under the stage. And it is a pressure bomb, will go off if the heroine moves even a little bit (what amazing technology). We now have the police and the bomb squad coming in and doing what they do. The bomb disposal dude is about to cut the yellow wire, when Mr visionary scientist tells him to cut the red one instead. It turns out to be right. The bomb is diffused with about 300 milliseconds left for detonation and the heroine falls into the arms of our hero. Now, if you are a policeman and are being told the exact location of a bomb, and then you are hold to cut a particular colored wire to diffuse it, shouldn't you be arresting the guy on suspicion? But NO... he his hailed as a hero in front of the media.

Hilarious scene #3-
In the police control room, an inspector is shown walking repeatedly through a metal detector with an explosive device in hand. The ACP says "This is very dangerous. Such a sensitive radar is not reading this explosive." Looks like I should have paid a little more attention to my Radar and Microwave Techniques course. Never knew that a radar could be used to READ explosive devices.

Hilarious scene #4-
Mr scientist along with his prof makes a device fashioned out of a video game remote control. It uses the concept of reverse current to block all circuits in the backward path (now what the heck is that supposed to mean??). By that logic, it is a jammer. He even demonstrates it by controlling the traffic signals. AFAIK, traffic signals do not have wireless controls. Then... what were they trying to prove? Here's my advice to the entire crew of the movie - they should have seen "The Italian Job". In it, they have done similar stuff, but which is far more believable.

Hilarious scene #5-
Fight scene. Hero saves heroine from the clutches of the bad guys. All I wish to say is - instead of it looking like a good-guy-beats-bad-guy scene, it looks more like the last over of the first innings of a T20 match with Dhoni and Muralitharan swinging their bats to maximize the score. You have to see it to believe it.

Somehow I feel that Mithun Da's 'Gunda' and Rajni's 'Sivaji - The Boss' will match up to the caliber of this movie. Should try and watch those movies sometime.

Sep 6, 2009

Nokla Phones.

Just found out about this doppelganger of a company called Nokla. They are an absolute rip-off. Authentic looking handsets are a piece of cake for them. They even have Engadget talking about them. And surprisingly, the phones actually work.